Dear John Madden

Long snapper Ethan Albright wrote a letter to John Madden complaining about his status as the lowest ranked player in the game (thanks Ells and Rahil). It's genius ... and crass ... and genius. A snippet:

You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast.

Long snappers are funny. Mike "the Superstar" Morris has made a career on sports talk radio here in the Midwest on KFAN repeating the line "I'll pop your head like a pimple" over and over until they gave him his own morning show. I wish it were that easy.

Ultimate related, RSD is now just a bunch of people antagonizing two guys. Maybe it's been that way all along.

In other news, I'm getting an arm phone, except mine is going to display as a hologram. Of a wolf. That's right. I'm getting a talking wolf hologram arm phone.

Think of it man. It's fucking brilliant.