Van Buren Boys Win the UPA Club Championship!

Admittedly, I don't know much about ultimate or how tournaments work, but what I do know is that it's just like my mom always used to say: it's not whether you win or lose, it's how good your timing is when you win.

Dave says "Plan sounds good Kev, I'm in!"

The Van Buren Boys, of course, reinforced this principle in early September by losing 5 games and winning just 2 to finish higher than our initial seed at CHC. I don't think it needs to be said that we planned our entire season around this principle. The ultimate community at large is undoubtedly aware of Kevin's recruiting platform: We're going to put the least amount of required effort, time, and wins into naming the team, designing jerseys, and qualifying for Nationals, but we're going to get it done. Truth be told, most of us were stunned to read Kev's email about practices being scheduled in June and promptly put an end to that kind of thinking by not showing up. After that, we were back to our minimalist approach toward qualifying for Nationals.

Initially, the plan was to win 0 games and qualify, but teams like Zebra Muscles, Mephisto, and Hustle no doubt had heard of our plan, adopted it, and were just simply executing it better than we were early in the season. Plus, the VBB braintrust had been unable to find a 0 wins path to Nationals that didn't include mass disqualifications and they had foolishly put the only guy capable of disqualifying his own team on our roster. Regardless, had a scheme like that been attempted, the UPA evidently no longer disqualifies the entire team for playing an ineligible player in the series, just the captain, and the plan would have failed miserably.

Next step, try to concoct a scheme to win just 1 game at Regionals and qualify. And it nearly worked! The UPA helped out tremendously with this plan by announcing that Regionals would be held in a state that only 8 people have heard of. It was conceivable that all but 1 or 2 other teams would either get lost trying to get there or just stay home. Sadly, 13 other teams showed up and it was time for plan C.

Heading into Regionals, we were 0 for 12 against teams ranked 39th or higher. We knew there were 2 ways we could win just 2 games against similarly ranked teams and get to the big show. One was to beat Machine in pool play and then win in semis, but since we were relatively sure Machine would qualify and that beating them would be, let's face it, hard, we decided on beating top 39 teams on just Sunday. So that's what we did. And our season was unofficially a success.

But we still had 7 games yet to lose.

Photographic evidence of our Championship

Which brings me to the title of this post . . . we won Nationals! Don't ask me how or why, I'm not a great tournament-format mind, but immediately after the last game on Sunday, they clearly announced our name over the loudspeaker, promptly handed us a trophy, and crowned the Van Buren Boys champions, despite losing every single game of the tournament.

No wonder nobody takes this sport seriously.

I'll end the suspense.

CHC was rough. Two wins, five losses and yet we beat our seed. That's winning at the right times.

Tensions were high in the Sub Zero game. At least on their side. I think it was even more unnerving for them to hear that we were at times laughing when they were yelling. Their first goal was close to a clap spike type of catch and arguments ensued. At one point, as a result of a foolish call by one of our players that was to our DISadvantage, one handler of theirs announced loudly to the sidelines his deliberate intent to cheat in retaliation. And of course, Shane did what Shane does best. If you can't beat 'em, injure 'em. We lost by 2, the same amount of drops we had in the endzone.

We were up 8-5 on Frontline, when they caught fire and took 10 of the next 12 points. Winning the first half doesn't seem to bode well for the Van Buren Boys.

I had 3 Ds, 2 goals thrown, 1 received, and 3 throwing turns. I D'd up Truesdale near the goal on a huck and we collided, which took me out for the tourney (though I did play one more point in the game). I couldn't walk without a limp for a week and, 3+ weeks later, the bruise on my thigh is still visible. That's probably the second worst collision I've had in ultimate. I don't think Dave even fell over.

A lackluster Sectionals was filled with a lot of off-the-field fun. The Volley Ball Boys made a Saturday appearance. Saturday night: fires, arrests, an impeccable impersonation of my walk, and super dogs. What else is there?

I had 3 Ds, and 9 goals (7 thrown, 2 received). I think only Wes outscored me (in one game, he had 4 goals received in 5 points played). I had a goal in every game but one. I was perfect on throws until the 7th game. Then I lost focus for a minute and had 2 in one point. On the first, my cutter was wide open and going to the endzone, but stopped his cut right as I threw. Bummer. The second was a backhand huck to the leader of the Wolfpack that the wind pushed out of bounds. And in the finals, I had another throw to him that would have been a goal, but Kevin got a really sweet D on it.

Regionals upcoming and although I'm not conveying it well in this post, I'm ridiculously excited. I've never been so excited for a tournament. Ever. The team excitement level, too, is off the charts. We've got a steep hill to climb, but as the video below proves, nothing is impossible. Plano East is down 41-17, with 3 minutes to go. Be sure to watch it through to the very end.

The Proactive UPA

To answer George's question regarding how can RC's (and indirectly, the UPA) be more proactive, I have a few undeveloped ideas. I think the biggest thing they can do is not only remove any financial risks assumed by the tournament directors, but also help them profit.

I think long gone are the days of players resenting other players making a buck off of ultimate -- given the service provided is of a high quality. Look no further than Rob of UltiVillage for evidence of that fact. The guy is obviously turning a profit, else he'd have given it up long ago. Either that, or he's got a sugar mama and is the hardest working volunteer in ultimate.

I have no idea how much Rob is making, nor do I care, nor has any real resentment toward the profit he's making amassed. Why? Because he's providing an extremely valued product. We players value PT, probably more than video footage, which is why I've never really heard much backlash against steep tournament fees (at least not for a couple years). Even Potlatch, the world's biggest and most expensive (from a registration fee perspective) tournament, no longer has "why is the registration fee so expensive?" on their FAQ page. I guess it's not asked very frequently anymore.

Of course, they do publish their $5k+ deficit budget, so maybe that's why no one's asking.

Regardless of the profiting, let's face it, tournament fees are the smallest of the tournament expenses for individuals. I typically spend $20+ on travel, $40+ on food, and $20+ on lodging. Yes, I've spent less than that at tournaments. At some point, every ultimate player has put 7 people and all their gear in one minivan, only to meet another car at the hotel to share one room that by Sunday morning makes you wish you were in a gas station restroom because you need relief from the odor. But now, I'm employed and prefer to sleep without feet next to my head and on a soft surface. As such, being that my club team is 14+ players, it's rare to see my share of the tournament fee more than $20.

With that in mind, after having a conversation with Greg Williams over the weekend, I know he's lost a lot of money over the years putting on tournaments. And I know he's not alone. It's a lot of work and a lot of risk. The UPA needs to assuage that risk to promote the likelihood that a TD will step up and run a good tournament AND not lose any of his or her personal money. Frankly, it's ridiculous for the UPA to ask a person to put dozens of hours into a thankless job that will also potentially leave his or her wallet hundreds of dollars lighter.

How does the UPA do that? I don't know exactly, as I've not seen every budget of every UPA tournament and I've only personally directed one tournament (it wasn't UPA sponsored). Maybe they already do this, but if the UPA were willing to assume some of the financial risk of every UPA Championship Series tournament (in exchange for capitalizing on a percentage of their profits), I'm sure individuals would be more willing to step up. The UPA Event Hosting outline doesn't explicitly address who pays and who profits.

It was not long ago that tournament fees were regularly just $100, but those were the kinds of tournaments run on "ultimate time." The transition to better run and more expensive events happened quickly. Maybe the trend needs to continue.

Bottom line, TDs need not be afraid of making more money and UPA should not only encourage them to make a buck, but help them do it (by promoting the event and supporting the TD's decision to do so). For tournaments such as Regionals, with literally 1000 players, an extra $5 per player goes a long way toward the TDs' pocketbooks, without affecting the individual player's budget. This is especially true in the Central Region this year. A centrally located regional tournament could save hundreds of individuals literally hundreds of dollars each. I know I'd gladly rather choose to personally pay a TD $200 for a tournament within driving distance, than spend $400 on a plane ticket and rental car. Now multiply that by 10 teams of 20 players each.

Is there a TD out there willing to put in a good bid in Chicago and get paid $40,000?

Tulsa spelled backwards ...

The "official" word on Central Regionals is that it will take place in Tulsa, whose state's abbreviation is ironically "okay." It will require roughly 10 hours and 33 minutes drive time for me and my Minneapolis counterparts to get to Tulsa. Taking a rough guess at the average drive time of the players on elite teams competing for spots at Nationals, I'd say it's around 12 hours. Yikes.

Alternatively, they can always spend $250+ on a plane ticket. Sorry Big Ass Truck.

Maybe it's less time or money for some of the teams not competing for a Nationals bid, but what's the drive time or price tag threshold for teams not playing to advance? How many teams who are going to win two games or less will drive 6+ hours to attend, particularly since the Regionals format tends to "eliminate" teams in fewer games?

I said it far more concisely on RSD, but a distantly located Regionals does not promote growth. It hinders it. Let's face it, some teams have a greater vested interest in Regionals. The UPA's efforts should tend to cater to those loyal, committed groups.

Timmy's point about players in the region whining needing to step up to put in a bid is valid, but becoming less legitimate by the minute. The UPA is now generating a 7 figure revenue. Granted, it's still run heavily by volunteer work. But the fact is, as ultimate (and the UPA) matures, more and more players are graduating into more administrative roles (Greg Williams, George Cooke, that one observer guy with the mustache and aviators, etc.). As a UPA member, I expect the UPA to begin leveraging these resources more effectively to improve competition. More precisely, rather than accepting the best submitted bid, they need to be more proactive to ensure excellent bids are submitted.

Here's to hoping the Ultimate Revolution puts it into action.