What NOT to write about

My latest writer's blog block has more to do with which subject to write about first than what to write about. I have a long list of things I've been trying to poignantly address for all you loyal readers out there, but have not found the time to write them in the edge-of-your seat fashion that they deserve. On the short list is a TO post and a response to the negative feedback I received following a recent post (through comments and live and in-person exchanges).

For now, just a quick note to say that the club season nears. What are you doing to get ready? I've been lifting since December. I weighed roughly 175 pounds then. I began dedicatedly lifting with the intention of trying to get below 170. I hadn't counted on my lifting to surprise the crap out of me and account for almost 10 pounds of muscle added. I almost hit 185 when I saw a Jack LaLanne infomercial and decided, what the heck, I'm gunna eat healthfullier (imagine that were a word). I hope to reach a conclusion regarding my question. Now I'm at about 180 and am well on my way to towing 70 boats with 70 people from the Queen's Way Bridge in the Long Beach Harbor to the Queen Mary on my 70th birthday.

But then I read about Cliff Young tonight and I think I might give up dieting, the gym, and wristwatches to take up sheep farming.

But not until I'm 61.

Ultimate Stats

The Count brought up the issue of stats in his blog.

To get to a point where stats mean more to us, first we need to better define them. If the current nomenclature were a type of defense, it would be the Cupasaurus -- not entirely useless, but ignoring too much of what's happening on the field and (in highly technical terms) really sucky.

For defense, the "D" stat is just too generic. In football, there are sacks, hurries, knockdowns, interceptions, tackles, etc. We don't need that level of granularity in Ultimate, but we can all see the difference between a point block and an interception when it happens, just not when we read "D" on the stat sheet.

For offense, here's something I wrote 2 years ago:

The thing about goals being scored is that the thrower often actually deserves more of the credit than the receiver. And further, the deserved credit to the thrower is directly proportional to the distance from which the goal was thrown. The term assist suggests they didn't have as much involvement in the play as is reality.

And as a pre-emptive strike, this is entirely unrelated to any debate on being a team player and who cares who gets the credit. It's about being able to understandably and accurately record the events of the game.

Typically, people are recording stats in an effort to determine who is making the most valuable contributions to the team and conversely who's hurting it. In that regard, I think there are 3 (positive contribution) offensive stats that are important:

TG - thrown goal
RG - received goal
A - assist

TG and RG are obvious. The assist is the throw that provides an excellent opportunity to the new thrower for a TG (e.g. the 55 yard throw to within 5 yards of the goal, the 15 yard crossfield swing to the break side of the field, etc.). The current use of the "assist" stat is both inconsistent with current sports stats and doesn't make sense semantically -- since the player didn't just "assist" in the goal, but had a direct contribution in creating it. The throw prior to a TG, however, very often contributes to creating ideal conditions in which a TG can occur and makes sense semantically to be referred to as an assist. This throw has historically gotten way too little credit.

Yeah, two years ago I wrote that! And the UPA has yet to address my concern. Sometimes I get the feeling they don't even read my blog.

Mo[vi]e on DVD

Moe appears in 3 "highlights" on the UltiVillage DVD. I'm in one of them allowing my guy to cut up field on the break side while I poach the dump. Of course, an easy break to my guy is followed by an easy huck to a wide open receiver. I'm bummed because that was the point after I made a similar play where, instead of essentially allowing a goal, I intercepted a pass on the dump followed by a forehand to Jeanine for a goal and the break. Why couldn't THAT play have made the highlight reel?

Also not making the video was Jake's awesome spike that literally bounced higher than his head (I realize that's not saying much) and would have been the best clip in the spike montage, had it not been left on the cutting room floor.

I learned later that the pass I intercepted was intended for a man I spent considerable time on the phone with in 2004 after my eligibility stupidity: Josh Greenough. I wish I had known. I'd have liked to have a conversation with him.

So ... I bought the team package DVD set from UltiVillage, which was supposed to guarantee Flaming Moe 5 minutes of highlight footage on the DVD. Rob reneged on his promise due to our failure to have any important games of interest to the general ultimate viewing audience beyond Thursday. In an effort of good will, he did provide DVDs of all the Moe footage he captured. How do I feel about that? Well, the 3 clips that made the final cut are among those that portray Moe the most poorly of all the footage. I don't feel good about that. I don't blame him, but I still feel cheated, since I wouldn't have made the team package purchase without the 5 minute guarantee. He asked me about it, but I've not yet responded and I am undecided on how I will.

Which brings me to ... I have several of the DVDs available for $35 ($13 cheaper than ordering from UltiVillage). If you want one, email me at hotlou@gmail.com.

UPA Championships

I thought I'd better write about the UPA Championships while it's still fresh in my mind.

I actually feared this delay in posting may occur considering the ensuing lack of interest in ultimate that invariably follows the end of the season. Having realized my fear, I took the precaution of recording my stats in a planner after each game. Problem was, that planner belongs to a girl whom I'm no longer dating. She was, I believe, one of about 3 non-ultimate playing, non-familial spectators at the UPA Championships. Why is that? I have lots of ideas, but that's for another entry, scheduled to be written in October.

Of 2009.

Anyway, so I don't know what my stats were, but I remember going into the last game having fewer turns and more Ds than games played. I also scored a lot. The last game I had a lot of turnovers, though. The entire team did. The game was frontloaded with double digit turnover points. I wasn't on the field for any of them, thankfully. That visit to turnover town, though, caused the time cap to go on just before half time (I believe). Three of my turns in the game were all intended for the same handler, one of which was a downright comical 3 yard dump that probably floated in the air for 5 seconds and was at a catchable height during the entire flight, but was not caught. Ugh. I also had one other overthrow and several punts (something we did too little of, considering the turnfest that it was). Overall, I was very satisfied with my play. I had a lot of touches, I got some clever Ds, I got scored on once, I allowed 2 thrown goals, and I small amount of turns relative to how often I touched the disc and compared to the rest of the team.

For the team, Thursday obviously sucked. We lost all 3 games.

Brass Monkey is the only team we played all year that we could not beat. No way, no how. They overmatched us in just about every way and came to play, in addition to an overwhelming sense of nervousness on our team. It felt like everyone had jitters except for me and Mike.

In our game against Briefcase, we actually led 9-4, and ended up losing 15-12. They went on an 11 to 3 run on us, complements of our O line, who just could not seem to convert. There was a turn on just about every point and a lot of fatigue. And we just seemed to stick with them break after break after break.

It sucked, but I had to miss the Deliverance game. The landlords for our lodging were threatening to kick us out if I didn't pay that day. I left immediately after our Briefcase loss, but with the long trip, the traffic, and the construction, I didn't return until we had already been virtually eliminated. We had to win by more than 3 to avoid needing some serious luck to make the play in game. Deliverance already had 12 points by the time I had my cleats back on. I played my first point of the game when we trailed 14-12 and a huck to my guy was caught over me for a score. In retrospect, I should have told our landlord to shove it. They already had my credit card and we were paying around $3k to be there. The customer is always right. Especially when that customer is me.

Our next 4 games did not feel like Nationals at all. We were at the Thanksgiving dinner kids' table equivalent for fields; the intensity was low; and there was hardly anything at stake (although, I think our victory over the Flycoons did take away a wildcard from the Northwest). For me, my memorable moment was when I made an inspirational timeout speech about how I would not get broken, only to be broken moments later by the classic falling-over backhand. I will say in my defense, however, that the receiver was left completely open on the break side. The intent of my speech wasn't to give permission to leave the receiver wide open.

All in all, I had a good time. A quick highlight summary:

• We stayed in a 5000 square foot penthouse on the beach (pictured above)
  
• We left Nationals with a 4 game win streak
• One night, we cooked mini pizzas from scratch
• The open finals game was phenomenal to watch (Chase layout, that Jimmy Chu D (almost), the accidental catch, and a greatest)
• Playing well, scoring a lot
• Purchase of a 5 ultimate hat
• Learning to love the jacket that I bought even though I didn't like it but I wanted to buy some tourney merchandise
• Taking 2nd in spirit (I had a feeling we might be up there)

Lowlights:

• Spending (basically) an elimination game in traffic in a van
• Moving our best O line handler to D, when our O was already not performing well and our D was already awesome
• Losing Sam to burn out
• Losing to Briefcase
  
• Losing at Scrabble anagrams
• Losing at liar's dice, the game I taught everyone
  
• Picking up a Becky so drunk he could not dial his own phone
• Dyeing my hair blond, only to remember 5 days later that I was to be in 2 weddings in the following 8 weeks
• Jenni's drunk boyfriend pissing on the carpet in the middle of my room in the middle of the night for about 5 minutes